Spaulding Bogosian

Not as political as the Other A-Holes, but yet the kind of Funny Meanderings of a Jersey Guy

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

All Hail Vagina!

I have a friend of mine that lives in California she is 41. She calls me sometimes, and tells me how this guy she’s screwing tickles her here, and another guy likes her to piss on him. So I know women over 40 get sex. But it’s all good, although I’d like my wife to borrow her sex drive for one day. OK maybe a weekend. If women only knew how horny men were then they might try harder to please us. Either that or they would be so totally repulsed that they would run screaming. Honestly nature has dealt women the perfect hand; they have a monopoly on vagina, zero competition. You don’t have to travel back that far in history to find the time where women were shit on. They didn’t even get the vote until like 1928 or something. If there was anything, and I mean anything else in the animal kingdom that had lets say, the brain of a yak but looked like Scarlet Johansson, women would be out of business. Men would be like, “Yeah she chew’s her own cud, but just look at her.” Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife, she’s my best friend, but if a thousand years ago men discovered some creature on an island that we found attractive and it didn’t appear that we screwing sheep, it would be a whole nuther story. Or if we lived in a solar system where we mingled with alien races, some of which happen to have “magic alien vaginas”, well depending on where women stood in the food chain when men discovered this, they might not be CEO’s today. To my knowledge there is no force on the planet more powerful than the vagina. But who knows, robot poon might be just around the corner.

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