Spaulding Bogosian

Not as political as the Other A-Holes, but yet the kind of Funny Meanderings of a Jersey Guy

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Apathetic Neo-Conservatism

Can someone please tell me what I should believe? Should I care any more about politics? Is it out of my grasp? According to most reports “Global Warming” will kill us all in the next 1000 years, unless I change my light bulbs to the kind that last longer. I would do it but those bulbs cost about ten bucks a piece and are so dim you feel like you have a brain tumor. Maybe I should invest in low pressure shower heads? All the Seinfeld jokes not withstanding, there are very few things as unsatisfying as a bad shower with no water pressure. I’m just not down with it. How about the smaller tanks on toilets? There’s a fine idea. Now I only have to flush three times to make sure there aren’t any floaters, kind of defeats the purpose. So I recycle…that’s it. It’s an extra effort on my part but I figure it’s the least I could do. Frankly, with all the delusional religious fanatics out there I don’t think we have a thousand years left to worry about ice in Antarctica. The human race is but a tiny period in the history of the world. The blink of an eye. How self-important are we to think that we could destroy the planet? I mean even if we launched all the nuclear missiles, yeah, we’d kill most everything, but some stuff would survive, and in ten thousand years or so there might be some new creature crawling out of the abyss trying to make fire. Personally, I think the Earth can’t wait to wash us off like a bad case of head lice. It must be like needing a shower for the last fifty thousand years and only having a broken low pressure showerhead. And really how freakin’ nuts to think that we have a religious right to the earth.
I’m a little Cross with Jesus
I’ve Jihad it up to here with Mohammed.
I have lost faith in faith.
I’m sick of the superstitious ignorance of the religious right trying to run our lives. The reason they get away with it is fear. Fear of the unknown. It’s true, nobody knows what happens to you when you die, but does it really make sense to think you fly up to a cloud and sit at the right hand of an all powerful being. Or does it make sense that we get stuck in a box, stuck in the ground, and we decompose. Well, there is evidence to support only one theory. And since some fella in a cave came up with the other a few thousand years ago, based on stories he heard, I’m not inclined to buy any of the shit they’re selling. Religion is so harmful to humanity that there should be warning labels inside every bible and Koran. WARNING: May make you kill or think less of people that don’t agree with you.
And who came up with 72 virgins? Sure it sounds good on the surface, but that’s a lot of pressure. You know they never forget their first. And where do these virgins come from? Did they die virgins? Or does Mohammed have some kind of “rehymenizer” or a virgin machine that’s pumping them out. I think it would be funniest if these fucking misguided terrorists got saddled with infants to take care of for all eternity. Here’s your virgins fuck wad, enjoy. And what’s in it for the women. Do they get 72 virgins too, for living a pious life? Most women I know wouldn’t want 72 virgins. Maybe they just get one stiff dick. But the real problem with Islam isn’t that everyone is getting laid in the afterlife. It’s that Muslim’s abhor sexuality and instead fucking each other, their fucking the rest of us. If there is a more misguided, self destructive, stupid bunch of inbreeds on the planet I don’t want to know about it. Every time they get together for some ceremony 3 thousand die, because someone left their tent in the middle of the path and it turned into a giant “Who” concert. If there is a god, I think he’s trying to tell them something. Yeah I guess the shit in Africa in Dubai etc., is fucked up too, but I think that’s more about some kind of tribal feud. I don’t know I could be wrong. What I do know is that they are killing each other. It has nothing to do with The USA. This Middle East shit on the other hand is just getting out of hand. We keep sticking out fingers in the dyke, trying to stop the leak and it just keeps getting worse. It’s gonna go bad, and when it does, we’ll be the asshole everyone’s pissed of at. And then we are fucked. Nukes in NY everybody! I give it 10 years before some asshole decides all the infidels need to meet their maker. Actually they already decided it, now we’re just bailing water out of the boat before they sink it.
So I have a new political mind set. I’m calling it “Apathetic Neo-Conservatism”. Basically, it means I understand that we’re all different and we should have a “live and let live” ideology, but there are too many zealots on the planet who think they know what’s best for everyone. So, it’s inevitable that in order to get along we need to be either more homogenous or more apathetic. Since it’ll take another ten thousand years for races to co-mingle to the point where we are all pretty much the same, and we really don’t have that kind of time. I’m choosing apathy. I just don’t give a crap anymore. You can’t have it both ways. You either need to kill all the extremists, or get the hell out of their backyard. Your only pissing them off, and your not gonna change them. I choose get the hell out of their yard and protect our own yards. In the old days when you fought a war you got something out of it. If you won, the land was yours. That was a fine thing. If we actually could claim Iraq or Afghanistan for our own, call it something like “Ameristan”. Claimed its resources and improved quality of life over there, maybe even get some Mexicans to move there. Put up a few McDonald’s and Starbucks. Mini malls with places you could get a good goat cheese log with the nuts on the outside. And Koreans who do the French tips for a sawbuck. Cable T.V. with five hundred channels, and pay-per-view porn. This is what we’re fighting for. This is what everyone wants. That, and the comfort of knowing the chance of a sidewinder coming through the window is really, really slim. If you want a revolution, than have a fucking revolution! Stop trying to liberate countries. It’s like using a bug bomb on a tenement house in the projects. Sure, you’ll clear out the roaches for a while, but if the building next door is infested…How long before they’re back?

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