Spaulding Bogosian

Not as political as the Other A-Holes, but yet the kind of Funny Meanderings of a Jersey Guy

Friday, February 16, 2007

Britney Spears is just a symptom...Like pus.

I was told that if I put the words Britney Spears in the content of a blog, that it would get a lot of hits. So I’m trying it out. Recently I read an article in a Canadian newspaper about a girl in Toronto (I’m sure not the only one) who idolizes Britney Spears. Now, on the surface it seems like a normal piece, but not really. The author was attempting to do just what I am. Use the name Britney Spears to get exposure. What’s more, as unbiased as the article was in expressing the reasons for the girl’s ardor, it implied that anyone who would devote their time to such a trivial individual, is a freak. I mean, why else write the article unless you want to expose something. And it worked! I skipped over all the articles about how many people were killed yesterday in the latest roadside bombing, so that I could shake my head at this misguided twenty-two year old girl, and feel utterly superior. Knowing I personally stopped thinking Roger Waters and Frank Zappa knew the meaning of life when I was twelve. Yeah, I used to put on my headphones and listen to “Shine on you Crazy Diamond” and think, this guy knows my life, he knows all our lives. If I could just talk to him for an hour, I would understand the meaning of life. But we’re getting off track because worshiping Pink Floyd or Jim Morrison as an adolescent at least showed you had a little musical taste.
But Britney Spears? She is a marginal talent who got most of her exposure being hot, jailbait, and dressing like a parochial school girl. Granted she was hot, but that was eight really long years ago. She has an OK voice, but what has she really done. Four bad albums in eight years? “Baby one more time” was written by Max Martin, she’s not even a writer. If you go to her website she hasn’t updated her blog since 2005. Her last pearl of wisdom to the fans was “People Magazine is great in my book!” I’m sure her book must be “The idiot’s guide to... Whatever.”
I’m starting to sound a little bitchy and I’m not even gay. Enough about Britney! My heart and testis go out to any young lady that is mired in Britneydumb. It is a fitting capper that she is now at the height of her fame for showing her gaping twat.
The record companies are all up in arms about declining CD sales. They want to blame illegal downloading. What they should do is try to develop an artist with some fucking talent. The state of the entertainment industry is appalling. I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie that I didn’t feel ripped off by because I paid to see it in the theatre. Ok, I liked “The Departed” but that’s it for the whole year. And the truth is, movies like that used to be a dime a dozen. Charles Bronson, Clint Eastwood, Robert DeNiro, anything these guy’s touched would be gold. Now it just the same warmed over shit.
The entertainment industry is lying to us and they are using our superstars to do it. They are selling us crap disguised as star studded events. I call on the celebrities to stop making bad moves. Boycott the work untill the scripts are better. You don't need the money! “Ocean’s Twelve” how much was that to make. That was awful. Sooner or later we regular folk are gonna stop taking the bait, we already have with music. There is a reason why the record industry is losing money and it’s not illegal downloading. It’s the same reason the Rolling Stones are still the biggest grossing tour. Or that Kiss is still around. Or the reason that The Police and Van Halen are gearing up for tours. It’s because you’ve let us down. You idol makers have dropped the ball. Shame on you Hollywood! Stop recycling every thing that was ever good in lieu of something new and worthy. Shame on you Rolling Stone! Stop glorifying the bullshit that passes for talent. You gave Jack White five stars, do I need to remind you that that’s the highest amount of stars?! So what you’re saying is “Elephant” is right up there with “Tommy”. Are you out of your fucking minds??? And Broadway, I was never a big fan, but can we get a fucking play that isn’t a recycled movie or based of the music of a great (or not so great, ABBA) songwriter. Are there no “Rodgers and Hammersteins” left? Or playwrites for that matter. Or are they all making Disney movies? You haven’t given us a star that we can really believe in for over twenty years, so we’re bringing back the ones that made us happy. Acadamy Award’s are going to children. Not that anyone gives a shit anymore because it’s all about what fucking designer they are wearing. The Police aren’t nostalgia, they are just the last time music was exciting. Maybe I should get excited about Radiohead because they are reminiscent of Pink Floyd? Or maybe I should just buy “The Wall”. Kids if your still reading this go buy a copy of “Houses of the Holy” or “Quadraphenia”, Or email me and I’ll give you 100 cd’s that are actually worth buying. But you can start with “Gaucho” by Steely Dan, and Overnight Sensation” by Frank Zappa. As a challenge name one album that equals any of those by a band that started after 1987.
You can’t build a culture around hip hugging jeans, thong panties, tattoos and peircings. And you can’t sit back and just count the money because no one is doing anything better. The NBA’s newest stars are all white guys from Eastern Europe. You know why? Work ethic! America can’t sit back on its laurels and be above getting back to quality. Because when 16 year old kids start lining up to see Penelope Cruz in something subtitled, is over Johnny. Lights out.

Labels: , , ,


Post a Comment

<< Home