Dirty Sanchez

Many of you have heard various terms that elude to heinous and humorous sex acts. For you benefit I thought I put them all in one place so that you have a quick reference guide.

Dirty Sanchez

A Dirty Sanchez is a sexual situation where a man is laying some pipe doggy-style, and while in the midst of sex he inserts his finger in the woman's starfish and then smears his finger across her upper lip, giving her a thin shit moustache. This is the Dirty Sanchez.

That bitch was so skanky, she didn't even mind that I gave her a dirty Sanchez!


Cleveland Steamer

A Cleveland Steamer is one of two acts that are similar for the scatalogically inclined. One is a crude sex act the other a crude break up technique. Both are the same thing.

1. You take a dump on a lovers chest while or before titty fucking (if that partner is a female.) Generally for the cacaphile only or as a domination and humiliation tool in BDSM games. See also Brown Showers. The steamer part is that it is very probably steaming from the freshness (Moisture rising from it) not to do with "steamrolling" it. Then it would have been called a "Cleveland Steamroller". It is probably named after Cleveland (Lucky us Clevelanders) because of the brown stripe left behind resembling the brown stripe on the orange Cleveland Browns Football Helmet. If you squish it down and then you spooge on it for syrup it becomes a "Boston Pancake". Don't know the origin of Boston in refernce to that act.

2. Often used as a breakup technique for angry lovers to wait till the other is asleep and dumping on their chest and leaving them to wake in it the morning after. Point made. Sexual intercourse isn't necessary beforehand technically. It is only for extra points with your pals since you obviously are only pretending to be making up and having sex to achieve this goal and are tricking the other person to get even. Usually done without knowledge of the victim if the "pooper" wants to escape alive.

Tom wanted to break up with Sally after their last fight and he made his point to her by dropping her a Cleveland Steamer and leaving the bedroom.


Boston Pancake

When you shit on a girl's (or guy's I guess) chest. This the supposed pancake. And everyone likes their pancakes with syrup, so you jizz on the shit. The jizz is key, without it, you are performing a Cleveland Steamer. I'm not sure where the change from Cleveland to Boston takes place, but it's somewhere between the cum leaving the penis and landing on the shit.

My bitch forgot to clean up the Boston Pancake I made last night, but at least I didn't have to make my own breakfast.

Alabama Hot Pocket

The Alabama Hot Pocket is a special fetish maneuver that roughly involves taking a shit into a woman's vagina, typically followed up by a good ole fuckin'. The term "Alabama" originated from a lesser known, but crucial additional practice that involves "Porky Piggin'" the female who has recieved the Hot Pocket. In Alabama, you see, good old redneck boys, when bored, would fuck pig troughs or large, wet piles of mud. To properly perform the Porky Piggin' follow-up procedure, one must take a massive shit onto the vagina WITHOUT spreading the lips. This creates a core that enters the woman, and then dregs that explode out all over her. By randomly stabbing with the cock, one will successfully Porky Piggin' the girl... repeating, naturally, the action that would normally be associated with screwing a pile of mud or animal trough.

Yeah boy, I gave her a good ole Alabama Hot Pocket. What? No shit I Porky Piggin'd that shit.

Rusty Trombone


The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.

While receiving a rusty trombone I lost control of my bowels.


Hot Carl

Proceeding to the act of hot-karling involves one of the following:

1. Any part of sex in which faeces from one partner is found on the other, regardless of the technique. NOTE: the action of defecating on one's self may not be regarded as a "hot karl" but rather as "soiling yourself".

2. A form of assault in which the assailant proceeds to fill a tube sock with his own feces, ready to engage in fierce guerrilla.

1. While you were sleeping, I snuck into your sister's room and hot-karled her.

2. Brandon is such a moron, let's hot-karl him after school today.

Angry Dragon

Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

I gave your mom an angry dragon last night!

Angry Pirate


The act of receiving oral sex while standing up right, ending with the reciever not only shooting his sperm rocket into one of the giver's eyes, but also kicking the giver in one of his/her shins, thereby hindering the giver with a "peg leg" and a defunct eye.

dude,i gave your sister an angry pirate, and thats why she's limping a little...(don't ask why she's walking like she has a stick up her ass... thats a whole different story dude.)

Donkey Punch

The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better (for you of course).

I donkey punched Meredith last night, and It was awesome

Tony Danza

When you are giving it to a chick from behind, you yell out "Who's the boss?" She'll get confused, turn her head around, at this moment, you donkey punch her in the face and then scream TONY DANZA!!!

Oh man, I totally powned Kenny's mom last week when I gave her a Tony Danza.

Blumpkin

The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.

Morty made frequent trips to the office restroom, but never when the janitor who calls Costa Rica is there, because that janitor like to give Blumpkins.

Cunnilumpkin

A variation of the blumpkin where a woman receives cunnilingus while she is defocating. This can be intentional or accidental.

Note: For bonus points and so both parties walk away a winner, the cunnilingor can position their own body during a cunnilumpkin to get Hot-Karl on the pecs.

Intentional: Busy Linda preferred the cunnilumpkin to regular oral sex since it accomplished two things at once....just as long as they did it at the bus station so she could just leave her shit smeared all over the seat cushions.

Accidental: Ed was really doing a good job down there and Eva was starting to peak at her orgasm. Ed had all he could do to keep her from squirming off the bed so he squeezed her hips tighter, and that's when it happened. The uninvited cunnilumpkin had ruined the sheets and both of their evening plans.

Strawberry Shortcake

The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake.

I just gave my girlfriend a strawberry shortcake.

Pink Sock

This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.

When I left prison, I had a pink sock the size of Texas.

Birmingham Booty Call


Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

I met this freak bitch in Alabama, and she introduced me to the Birmingham booty call.


Rusty Trumpet

1. the female version of the rusty trombone
2. to eat the ass of a woman while reaching around and fiddling with her special place (especially with several fingers, simulating a trumpet)

I gave your mother a rusty trumpet.
She loved it.

Newnan Burrito

Wrap your cock in a tortilla and fill the tortilla with whatever a normal burrito would have (sour cream, cheese, maybe hot sauce) and then start having anal sex. Before you cum, you stick the newnan burrito in the woman's mouth, giving the taste of cock and burrito.

Mary kept asking me for mexican food last night, so i gave her a newnan burrito.

Hot Lips Houlahan

Before you have sex with a woman, put tabasco sauce on the OUTSIDE of the condom, her pussy lips will be on fire in no time. If you want to cool the burn, pull out and hose it down. (this may also work for BJs.)

My woman is always bragging that she enjoys spicy foods, but she couldn't handle the Hot Lips Houlahan.

Abe Lincoln

When an unconscious person gets jizzed on their face, gets their pubes cut and applied to their face to form a beard, then adorned with a top hat.

The last time a gang of transsexuals Abe Lincolned Stump, he was picking various shades of pubes from his teeth for a week!

Cincinnati Bowtie

When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It's called "Cincinnati" because they do everything backwards there.

My bitch was complaining all night because I kept ramming my anus into her nose, but dang, I was really in the mood for a Cincinnati bowtie

Alligator Fuckhouse

A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!

Sally: "Last night Johnny surprised me with an Alligator Fuckhouse, and I came for an hour and a half! I think the bite might have left a scar though..."

Dirty Gas Pump

starting off with simple tea-bagging, making sure that her nose is between your ass cheeks, and as she is jacking you off, you fart as much as possible.

I know she wants a dirty gas pump when she insists on paying at the local Mexican restaurant.

Ride the Bull

To have doggy sex with a woman and have people in your closet with cameras jump out. Your partner will then attempt to get away. The point of riding the bull is to see how long you can keep your dick in her. But beware, she may make an awkward turn and could bend your dick.

I will ride the bull tonight in an attempt to smash my record of 30 seconds.

Tea Bag

(v). To lower your body as to dip the testicles into her mouth as the woman is tonguing the scrotum.

Hey man, you should have seen the look on that bitches face when I tea bagged her.

Glass Bottom Boat

A sexual act in which the customer lays under a glass coffee table and looks up through it, while their partner defecates on the top. How some people find this stimulating I'll never know.

Also can refer to the same positioning with a coffee table but the person on top merely presses their genitals onto the glass, for "squashed" visual effect - or can refer to defecating onto some one's face which has been first covered in plastic kitchen wrap like Saran Wrap.

Your grandfather got arrested in Thailand again after paying an underage transvestite hooker for some ]glass bottom boat] action.

Jonah and the Whale


When a male inserts his erect penis into the mouth of another and then cums in the asshole of the same person. Then that person farts the semen out of the asshole so it looks like a blowhole.

Jane an Bob went home after a couple of drinks and performed, Jonah and the Whale.

Dump Truck

tucking the cock and balls between the legs and proceeding to ejaculate in the female's mouth while backing up and dropping a steamy load on her chest making crazy beeping noises like a dump truck

"Beep Beep Beep," said Little Eugene as he dropped a killer deuce all over Molly and her twin sister. "Now THAT's what I call a dump truck!"

New Delhi Dot

After anal sex, poke your partner right between the eyes with your fecal covered cock. If you do it correctly, it should leave a "shit dot" similar to that worn by Hindus.

I gave Pradip a New Delhi Dot to cover the red one.


Rotten Oyster

When a man is having sex with a woman that has a foul smelling/tasting vagina, and right before you cum you pull out, stick your dick in her mouth so she can taste her nasty vagina and cum in her mouth.

I was giving a woman oral sex and decided she needed a rotten oyster, so that she could taste what I tasted.

Golden Shower

The act of urinating on another person, usually for sexual gratification, or as a way of humiliation. More common than a Golden bath, where, during anal sex, one partner urinates into the colon of the other.

Do you need me to give you a golden bath?

Hot Lunch

the act of shitting in clingfilm stretched over someones open mouth then fucking the mouth and at the point of ejaculation bursting through the clingfilm giving the recipient a mouthful of shit and spunk

got any food wrap dear ?i fancy giving a hot lunch


Space Docking

The act of defecating directly into one's vagina. Like a space ship attempting to dock to a space station, "space docking" involves very accurate control and near-perfect alignment of the two orifices.

"Hey baby, want to try space docking tonight?"

Houdini

As a man reaches climax whilst in the "doggie style" position, the man pulls out and spits on their partner's back, fooling them into thinking that he has ejaculated, however, when their partner turns around, the man lets loose his baby yogurt in his partner's face.

I took my weenie and pulled a Houdini in her eye, then she cried.